Just a Virus
by queenfluffernutter
Summary: Gwen gets what can only be a virus. Oneshot.


"I'm here, and I brought breakfast," Tosh breezed into the room and set the box in the middle of the table. "Eat up."

Owen selected one of the pastries as he smiled toward her. The first bite caused a face of pure ecstasy, Tosh was pleased with herself. "These are the best yet, Tosh. Well done."

Tosh nodded a shy smile. "They were doing them fresh."

"Well, they're perfect." Owen praised. Tosh drank it in knowing that was as close to an 'I love you" she would hear from the medic. "You should have one."

"Can't," Gwen sighed, "on a diet for the wedding. I couldn't fit in my dress when I went in for the fitting last week."

"Pity," Owen but into his again noisily and made smacking noises.

Gwen turned away. "Well, that's bloody well rude!"

"Then have one." He rolled his eyes. "As your doctor, I demand it."

"Maybe just one..." Gwen reached for a chocolate glazed, her mouth watering.

"That's the spirit!" Owen watched as she bit into it – and frowned. "What?"

"Owen, that is a cruel trick!"

"What?"

"It tastes like...like...like I imagine a sponge would taste! That is in no way funny." She threw the donut on the napkin in front of her and placed her hands on her hips.

"Problem, children?" Jack strode into the conference room and took his favored seat, looking at the box of pastries in the middle of the table with a lustful glare.

"Owen is being more than cruel," Gwen tattled, flicking her hair from her eyes with a shake of her head.

Jack looked over to the doctor. "Not me, Jack; not this time. Honest." Owen shrugged.

"Coffee?" Ianto came in, bearing the ever-present tray. "Get it while it's hot."

Gwen all but dove for her mug, almost knocking the archivist over. "Thank God, a constant." But her opinion changed when she took a big gulp and made a face as she swallowed. "Okay, that 's just not funny."

"What?" Ianto asked, taking his own mug and seat. "Nothing funny about coffee, very right, Gwen."

Her hands were back on her hips as she directed her gaze at Ianto. "How did he bribe you into it?"

Everyone's eyes were on Ianto, who looked very confused. "What are you talking about?"

"That was crap coffee and you know it," Gwen accused.

Something flashed momentarily on Ianto's face before he spoke. "What?"

Jack sensed a change in the air in the room and reached for the things that were in front of the Welshwoman's now empty chair. "Gwen. What's wrong?"

She spun to face him. "Ask those two," she pointed roughly in the direction of the others. "They are just wrong!"

Jack blanched at the word, but hid it by smelling the liquid in the mug he was holding. "Ianto, is there something in this?"

"Only that horrible Pecan flavor she has been hung up on for the past month." Tosh was sure she saw Ianto shiver. "Otherwise, nothing new."

Jack took an experimental sip and found nothing wrong. "Owen, did you bring in the pastries?"

Owen shook his head. "That was Tosh. I don't even know why I am getting accused..."

"Tosh, did you alter the donuts?" Jack doubted, but had to cover all bases.

Tosh sighed, offended. "No, why don't you have a bite of the one that offended Gwen in the first place?"

"Right." Jack took a nibble and found nothing amiss. He took a bigger bite and made a satisfied face.

"Okay. Now I know you're all mutants – mutants sent to torment me." Gwen threw her arms up and started for the door.

"Wait!" Owen jumped up, startling the others around the table and making Gwen turn. "You were playing with that vial we found at that crash site yesterday! It all makes sense. The Quagaars _were_ an advanced race...could rebuild entire bodies from what I understand using only a consciousness. It only stands to reason that they would have developed a positive virus!"

"A positive virus? How is that even possible?" Gwen asked, taking another drink from her coffee and making a face. "This tastes like watered-down water!" Ianto glared. "No offense..."

"Not much taken," Ianto muttered into his cup.

"Simple really," Owen explained, sitting across from her, holding a donut. "It works like any other virus – infecting a body and replicating. But not _all_ are harmful."

Gwen listened, but didn't hear fully what he had said. "Antibiotics then?"

Owen waved her off. "No good – don't have any affect on viruses..._viri_? Hmmm..."

"Owen!" Gwen screeched, bringing his thoughts back.

"Right." He rubbed his temples as he spoke, looking for the right words. "Anyway, you wanted to lose weight, right? Well, this seems to stop your sugar craving. Less sugar isn't bad. I say go with it until we see if it wears off or affects another taste. At the moment, nothing harmful."

"So, nothing harmful?" Jack was checking with his conclusion. Owen nodded.

Gwen seemed to see the upside. "Well, there is that. A lot safer than that Adipose I was looking into last year – oh, and those pills Rhys was taking..."

"What did the vial look like?" Jack asked, looking down at the donut he now held.

Owen smirked. "Not telling you. You'd only use it wrong. Besides, you might confuse it with the luck virus we found with it. Nothing doing. You are lucky enough for all of us already."

"You're no fun," Jack half-pouted.

"And I'd like to stay that way in your books, Jack," Owen turned and winked at Tosh, earning himself a giggle. There was something about her today, he couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe she was wearing a new perfume or something. Owen looked again. It was the blouse she was wearing, he decided, making a mental note to compliment her later.

"Nothing else found at that crash site?" Jack asked, looking at the folder in front of him.

Ianto looked up from his mug. "Tosh was cleanup."

Jack raised an eyebrow to the woman. "Well?"

She smiled and shook her head, looking Jack in the eye as she did so. "Nope. Nothing at all of note. What you have in that file is all there was."

"Good job then." Jack nodded his approval. "Cleanup and coverup was done quickly and efficiently. That's about all." He closed the folder and stood. "Dismissed." There was the sound of chairs as everyone got up to leave. "Tosh? A word?"

"Yeah, what is it?" She was looking up at Jack with a broad smile.

"Don't overuse the virus." Jack warned.

"I have _no idea_ what you're talking about." She left the room still smiling, feeling the vial in her pocket that was marked 'sexual magnetism'.


End file.
